Friday, January 4, 2013

6 Months on the Job.


I am approximately 6 months into fatherhood, and I have not made one post on this blog since before my son was born. Obviously, I was unprepared for the amount of time raising a human would take. Here's a little recap of the past six months:









                             

The boy is the greatest gift I've ever received.  Obviously, he's the coolest gadget I'll ever own too.  I get to mold him into Mini-Mees.  So, I thought I'd list some things I've learned since becoming a dad.


  1. Sleep is the single greatest part of life, and I never knew or appreciated that fact before July 13, 2012.  Some people tell me I will get to experience it again in about 5 years...unless we have another child. 
  2. I had no idea that I was a germaphobe.  We currently have GermX/Purell stations at four locations in our house, I have two travel Purell containers in my car, one in my work bag, one in my gym bag, and obviously my wife carries one on her at all times.  It's safe to say I disinfect my hands a minimum of 20 times a day, and that's not counting washing with soap.
  3. My alcohol consumption has dropped SIGNIFICANTLY.  Want to have a couple beers when you get home from work?  Maybe a Scotch?  Well once you wake up 90 minutes after you've fallen asleep with a buzz because of a crying baby which you now have to change, feed, and try to get back to sleep, you will reconsider all drinking.  That headache you get from alcohol mixed with lack of sleep is devastating!
  4. Remember sleep?  I didn't think so
  5. Bedtime is officially 9:00 pm.  Staying up to 10:00 or later to watch something on TV?  HUGE MISTAKE. 
  6. Rise and shine!  Your day officially begins as early as 4:30 am and no later than 6:00 am! Remember when I told you to go to bed by 9 pm?  You should have listened.  Especially since you've all ready been up at least two times during the night. 
  7. I am a freaking expert in fecal matter analysis.  
  8. Someone will always show up and want to see your child when you need the baby to fall asleep.  This will cause 30 minutes of ungodly screaming and crying because he didn't fall asleep at the appropriate time, and your guest/friend/relative is the cause of this. They are also the reason your baby is off schedule for the rest of the day and won't sleep well at night. That person will think it's cute. 
  9. Remember when you were cool and lived in the city?  You live in the suburbs now.
  10. The music played by every Fisher Price, Playskool, or whatever baby brand is the worst music on earth, and I listen to it more than any other music....every...freakin'....day
  11. babycenter.com  thank you, thank you so so much
  12. You will do anything to relieve a sick baby.  This includes siphoning snot out of his nose with a tube.  Yep.... and you'll be amazed how much mucus comes out.
  13. This is my absolute favorite thing in the world: 



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